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Monday, April 6, 2015

A walk to Heart Beat

Do you remember my words when I said “I love you” for the first time??? That was an amazing moment when I expressed these words with my eyes and you accepted me with you closed pearls. A drop of joy came out from your eyes and rolled over you xeric cheek. I do feel the warmness of that tear yet. Today on April 6, 2015 it has been completed 4 years when I saw you for the last time. Believe me, that was not last. I have seen you many times in my reverie and broken sleep of the endless nights. Feeling for you could not abandon from my heart yet. Let me tell you a truth, whenever I see you in my dream and you go far away from me. I forward my hand to stop you, I do fell from the bed. That commitment of kind of 3 months took me in the world of ecstasy. Doesn’t it make you happy that we didn’t do fight in our last meet? Both of us cried just by imagining the life after that day. We touched the real taste of love… I do feel that you hear me when I am all alone far from the world of friends, happiness and all. I left to make friends. I feel better to spend time in silence to talk with you instead to have fun in fucking fuckness of friends. Love gifted us a lot. Who says love ends with tears? We ended our meet with tears, not love. And I can proudly say that I haven’t changed my mind yet. Things are still same. Still I feel my heartbeat increased when I anonymously hear your name in the crowd of unknown faces. I feel little jealous when I see the couple enjoying together. We dreamt together to spend life in the valley of hill stations. Still I miss the moment when we talked about boating in Nainital lake. Now whenever I go there I see your face in the lake and ask how are you…??? Once I found myself unable to spend life without you even for a moment. Bust destiny decides something for everyone. You gave me your swear not to shed tears on your leaving. The best gift of my life was you and you gave me the best thing, that is called Love. As days spent my love for you increased in your absence but your swear tied me all alone. Nothing changed except years. Same feeling and love still present in my heart. Will you please come back atleast once to let me know how you are. I feel annoyed when they say take time and think about someone else to start new life. Why don’t they believe that love happens only once? Why do they hit their thinking on my love and me? I am happy with your virtual appearance in my life. I am happy that you enter in my dream everyday and pass a sweetest smile. I wish you to be back in my life just to heal my these four years which I have passed like decades. Whenever I think about you, always a smile sits over my lips. Then people ask why are you smiling? And I replied calmly by saying nothing.
Your Lover

Kamal Paneru

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